Fear of failure is a popular topic in various sales training. Everyone knows what it is, but no one is trying to delve into the root causes. Most often, they just throw a large chunk of motivation, season it with psycho-psychological reasoning, and after that, they say: “Do not be afraid that you will be refused, be afraid not to do something.” And all this ends with neurosis and complete disappointment in oneself. In this article, I will tell you what the fear of failure is, because of what it appears, how to work with the fear of failure and how to get rid of it in sales.
What is Fear of Failure
Fear of failure – and unwillingness to do something, because you are afraid to hear the word “no.” Or any other phrase with roughly the same meaning. Fear of failure is common. Many are afraid or do not want to start a conversation, get to know other people, ask for a raise until they are sure that this is a 100% agreement. And this seems to be good, but in fact, this approach greatly prevents us from getting what we are not sure about. After all, we can never know what’s in the head of a beautiful girl, our boss or client. You won’t know until you ask.
And this is only a working situation. Everyone has situations when we were afraid to talk with some person, so as not to hear his categorical “no.” Talk with the boss about the increase, talk with the client about the additional costs of work, talk with someone on the street. What stops us is not shyness or the fact that we will look stupid. The whole point is the fear of hearing “no” to any request or suggestion.
How does it manifest
Fear of failure is a fundamental thing in our psyche. The entire unconscious system works to reduce stress levels at a particular point in time. Such mechanisms allow us to live in a less stressful mode. But the psyche is not something plastic. She cannot be explained that it is now necessary to do this, otherwise, then it will be even worse. There is a setting: do not hear “no” and do not injure yourself. And a person will observe it even unconsciously. Exactly until the moment when he himself begins to work on it.
Fear of failure can manifest itself in three ways:
We are afraid to do something. This is the most common. A person will not do something until he is sure that he will succeed. And this results either in low expectations (a person simply deliberately lowers the bar and increases the likelihood of success) or in an unwillingness to do anything. Do not send resumes, do not talk about promotion, do not call the client. There are many situations – the effect is one. It is better to do nothing than to hear no.
Depreciation of oneself and one’s own needs. When a person is afraid that they will refuse him, he tries to lower the bar. To just increase the likelihood of success. And sooner or later, even if a person goes up, it will seem to him that he does not meet expectations. when you have to transfer money in any bank that time you can use td bank routing number And the bar needs to be lowered. More and more. And this spills fear: before something new. A person will not start anything, because he has already lowered the bar, which means he does not hold out. Why climb if it is calm and good here.
We are afraid to refuse people because they can refuse us. This is the rarest manifestation, but such people are easy to recognize. Many call them spineless. They will not make any concessions because they are afraid to say no. Rather, because in the future they themselves do not want to hear “no” and will try to do everything to create the illusion of good relations.
All these manifestations greatly interfere with life: starting a business, making friends, promoting their products and services. But you can work with it.
What causes the fear of failure?
Most bloggers in their articles say that fear of failure is manifested due to improper education. If the child does not receive something and the parents cannot explain to him that they love him, simply do not want / cannot give everything he wants right now, then such a child will experience a constant fear of failure. That sounds absurd. Yes, the child thinks in terms of “if they love me, then they will give it to me.” But every failure is not perceived as a reason to be afraid of this in the future. On the contrary, the child at a particular moment is trying to understand under what conditions this will be given to him. From here come tantrums, convictions, or some actions in the hope of reward.
As I said above, the fear of failure is a fundamental thing that everyone has in their psyche. This is a protective mechanism that can either be activated or not. Depending on the starting conditions. And he appears due to two things:
Consciously lodging these fears in the head. Parents or reputable people lay in the psyche of a child and adolescent that everyone around is an enemy and wish him harm. And in his head, a mechanism of behavior is formed “one cannot contact people because they are evil. You can’t ask anything from them, they will refuse, because they are evil, and it hurts me. ” And man will not ask them. Because their refusal will be taken for granted.
A negative experience in certain situations. Most often, this is the reason for the fear of dating and generally any contact with the opposite sex. Less often will be the vertical “boss-subordinate.” A man tried to do something at an early age – he was refused, it hit the psyche (especially if it is adolescence).
That is, the fear of failure is a manifestation of the protective mechanism of our psyche. there are many ways to transfer money but one of the best methods to use in America that us routing number It can arise either because of a certain attitude that authoritative people put into the person’s head or because of negative experience. And in each case, which is similar to the one that was before, it will be activated.
What does this give us? Everything is simple here. We do not need to try to close any of our childhood injuries or bad experiences. It is enough to convince yourself that failure is normal. No need to work with the root cause, as in many other situations. You can imagine the right settings and get the right experience that will interrupt what was original.
How to overcome the fear of failure
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Usually, self-taught psychologists who try to teach other people something, instead of working with fears, just stuff people with motivation. This leads to the fact that in the streets, at conferences, and indeed everywhere, motivated zombies walk, who with burning eyes are trying to prove something to themselves. And after the first refusal, they can fly back into a deep depression. Because motivation does not remove fears, it just dulls them for a while. After that, they wake up again, and then it will be even more painful.
This approach is fundamentally wrong. Fear of failure is a mechanism for protecting our psyche. It can not be drowned for a while so that it does not work in the future. Therefore, motivation and other techniques allow you to step over yourself only once, instead of constantly working on yourself. And there are two approaches:
Be loyal to yourself. Just trying to prove to yourself that now you are prevented from doing something by fear of being refused. After 10-15-100 of such approaches, the brain itself will analyze the causes and after that give a signal about what can be approached and done. This is a slow and gradual process of working with your own psyche. This can take half a year or a year, but if everything is done correctly, the result is guaranteed.
The standard way of working. A man just takes and does. He receives a refusal, experiences negative emotions, but continues to do this again and again. It is advisable to start with trifles, but usually, everyone wants a place in his career. With this approach, a person simply takes and convinces himself that failure is normal. They will all face. And already on an automatic level, she does not perceive the word “no” as something important. This is common in sales when a person after a week of instruction is simply put on the phone and sent to make money.
These are two completely different approaches. In the first case, a person gradually works on himself and step by step becomes better. All this leads to the fact that rationality and profit overpower the fear of “no”, and gradually this same fear disappears. First of all, the pros are considered, and the minuses become not so significant. It may take several months to work on such an approach, and in some cases this is unacceptable.
And here the second approach comes into play. Who does not care at all about how a person will feel during the period of working on himself. Such circumstances and conditions are put under which it is unrealistic not to do this. Otherwise, you will be kicked out of work, taken away money, there will be nothing to pay for the apartment or feed the children. In this situation, you have to overpower yourself and do it. As a result, each time the negative emotions will gradually decrease, and instead of “what horror, they refused me” it will be “oh, the next“ no ”, cool, we are working on.”
How to overcome the fear of sales failure
Fear of failure for the salesperson is a big drawback in work. It must be cleaned in the early days and done as soon as possible. Otherwise, it will not work properly and make money. If you constantly bargain with yourself and convince yourself that you need to make an important call or go to a meeting with a client, then you can never see money at all.
Fear of refusal of sales is removed in a second way: by working constantly with customers who will say no. This is a kind of school for everyone who wants to make a career in this industry. But there are a couple of tricks that will help to significantly facilitate the work at first:
To convince yourself that the product is really cool. Convinced of the good of the product, the seller sells faster than the one who understands that no one needs his product. Even if it is difficult, try to find the benefits of the product you are selling. And then your conviction will be transferred to customers, and the word “no” will be perceived as “well, he missed a cool opportunity, a loser.”
Each “no” is an opportunity for growth. It sounds a bit hypocritical and stupid, but it really is. Every time we are denied, it happens for a reason. There is some reason. If you start to analyze these things, then gradually you can identify your weaknesses as a salesperson.
“Nothing will happen.” We all start to think “what will happen if he / she refuses me.” Yes, nothing will happen, that’s the whole point. No end of the world will happen, everyone will be happy and will continue to live happily ever after. Constant thoughts about what will happen next interfere. After a dozen such failures, the realization will come that nothing bad is happening. But what if you think about it initially?
These are simple things and even in some way self-deception. We all know that most of the goods that are sold with cold and even warm calls are mediocre and unnecessary things. The word “no” is not always a reason to think that something was wrong with your behavior. Often this is an indicator that this client could not be closed. But if you really believe that the product is cool, and every “no” – the ability to grow further and gain invaluable experience, it becomes much easier to work.
These tips are not a choice between “you can work like this” and “you can’t work without it.” This approach and these small tricks only make you feel better and do your job more efficiently. Without all these beliefs, it’s quite possible to become a cool salesman and sell for millions. Only with time will convince yourself to be even more difficult. The issue is exclusively comfort and time-saving.
The fastest way to overcome this fear
For many, a period of self-digging begins in life, when many of the things that you have hidden from yourself for many years gradually come out. All that interfered, did not allow to develop actively, all the flaws or some complexes, all this comes out if you take care of yourself for a long time. And the fear of failure here is just one of many things, but at work, it is one of the most important brakes.
To work with such shortcomings, you always want to find a quick way. In just a few weeks to get rid of what has been bothering you for many years. In the case of fear of failure, there is a quick and effective way. The simplest and most logical option is to get into telephone sales of the most useless product in the world.
Working on cold calls and selling useless goods just forces you to ignore the no. Just because dozens of people will say no every day. I called – I spoke out – I heard a refusal – I proceeded to the next. And after such a school, most of the problems associated with the fear of hearing the word “no” will be insignificant. That one “no”, if there were already hundreds of such words, and even worse.
The main drawback of this approach is that colossal stability is required. People who are rarely faced with negativity and rudeness in life will be surprised, and sometimes even shocked at the fact that strangers can pour on them. This is constant stress. Not everyone can hold out for at least a few months. But the result of this is guaranteed.
The most painless way to overcome the fear of failure
Overcoming your own fears is always a painful process. You have to step over yourself and do what you don’t like over and over again. And not everyone can stand it, especially if it concerns the fear of failure. How many times each of us began to struggle with this feeling, but negative emotions turned out to be stronger anyway. And then it became harder and harder to overpower yourself and start over.
The most painless way to work with the fear of failure I saw at a foreign conference. A very charismatic speaker talked about his experience. The speech began with the words: “I used to be afraid to hear the word“ no. ” I was constantly worried about this and did not even think about the fact that someday I could deal with it. But after 100 failures in various forms, I stopped doubting. “
100 failures from different people. And in different situations and in different forms. This is really a lot. Only the genius of this idea was that initially, this person began with something completely simple. For example, he received the first refusal out of 100, asking his colleague to borrow a huge amount. Generally without a chance of success. Both he and his colleague knew about this. Therefore, nothing unusual happened. Asked – received a rejection, which was expected.
The next request was for a ride on the boss’s car, and then the waiter in the cafe received an interesting order: “Please make onion rings in the shape of an Olympic symbol”. And so, from simple requests, failures that were expected, and unexpected “yes” from people who decided to enter the situation, stability was formed. And at the same time, the psychological understanding that everything is simple.
The essence of the “100 failures” method was not to get “no” all this hundred times and then become unresponsive. The opposite is true. It was necessary to hear “no” 100 times in those situations when a refusal can be made completely. And then it becomes clear that not everyone will refuse. Not everyone will send us if we offer them something. And each “no” after such work is taken for granted, but each “yes” is a gift and a show of respect.
Fear of failure prevents life. And if you really notice the manifestations of this fear in yourself, you need to start doing something about it. This does not mean that we must immediately run and get an operator to make cold calls and hear the negative over and over again. Gradually prove to yourself that failures are normal. And no one died when he heard the word “no.” It’ll be enough. After some time, you will see that your life has changed significantly.